It’s the most magical time of the year! It’s also, the most awkward time of the year for those of us who love to spend every second outdoors, bow, rifle, or shotgun in hand.
Why so awkward? Well, the simple fact is we all have those relatives that don’t hunt, who have no idea what the heck to get us for the holidays. So, instead of something useful (like a duck boat) we end up with something from the generic gift aisle. Summer sausage and cheese box, anyone?
The hard truth is there’s nothing we can really do about it. Unlike the rest of the boring world, we can’t just throw a bunch of good hunting gear onto an Amazon list. And for these relatives, a trip to the local outdoor store is intimidating at best, terrifying at worst.
But fear not, fellow hunters! Badlands has your back.
We want to make sure you get the gear you NEED and not get stuck with another coffee mug that says “Not Wine.”
Seriously, who comes up with that $^@%?
Using this handy conversion algorithm, painstakingly developed deep in our top-secret Badlands research and development center hidden in a hollow mountain in the Wasatch Range, you can return your less-than-desirable gifts for a refund and then get the Badlands gear you need.*
Gift Level: Great-Aunt Berniece
Value: $20-$40
These gifts are usually from the extended family that you only see once or twice a year. They still think you’re 11, despite the invite you sent to your 40th Birthday Blowout last month. They mean well, but they really don’t know you.
Gifts
- Cast-Iron Skillet Cookie Kit
- Bath Bombs
- Car Wash Soap Collection
Badlands Equivalents
Gift Level: Uncle Leo
Value: $50-$100
Uncle Leo should know better. You see each other most holidays and goodness knows your mom won’t stop telling him about the last big deer you “caught”. But, Leo’s not an outdoors person and doesn’t know why you need to wear camouflage to get meat at the grocery store. That IS where meat comes from, right?
Gifts
- Perfume/Cologne
- Apple Music Gift Cards
- Cardigan (in Hunter Green!)
Badlands Equivalents
Gift Level: Mom and Dad
Value: $150-$500
Really, one would hope your parents know better, but even those closest to us miss sometimes. Sure, they spent a lot on their gift, but at the end of the day, don’t they really just want you to be happy? Sure they do.
Gifts
- Vacuum Cleaner
- Wine of the Month Subscription
- Thomas Kinkade Print
Badlands Equivalents
There you go, a quick and easy guide to turning that holiday frown upside down. A quick trip to the store or gift-card exchange website and you’ll be set up with the Badlands gear you really wanted.
Now, that fruitcake from your boss? You’re on your own with that thing.
*You will have to return your gifts for a refund. Badlands is not offering gear for crappy gifts. If you don’t want it, we sure as heck don’t either. Unless it’s a PlayStation5. If you want to trade one of those, give us a call.
